Let’s take a moment. Now, raise your hand if you have ever given up on a dream. If you have ever made an excuse as to why you haven’t attained that dream. If you have ever let self-doubt creep in and destroy those dreams. That is probably a lot of us. So why don’t you pursue the dreams of your heart? Why don’t you chase down the thing you know you could have some chance at? It’s not what you are that is holding you back. It’s what you think you are not. Too many people undervalue what they are and overvalue what they are not. Our greatest battles are those within our own minds. So, tell the negative committee that meets inside your head to sit down and shut up!
Self-doubt can have a strong hold on your life, keeping you from trying new things and reaching your full potential. It holds you back from seizing your opportunities and it makes finishing things harder than they need to be. It can wreak havoc on your confidence and self-esteem making you feel powerless over your life. Don’t get me wrong, self-doubt is normal and all of us have experience it at one point or another. Although you cannot completely get rid of it, since it has been woven into our psyche from a young age, you can do things to lessen the self-deprecating thoughts that prevent you from living a fulfilled life you know you deep down you deserve.
Step 1: Recognize and Call Our Your Inner Critic
Our subconscious mind shapes our behaviors and beliefs. When our mind tells us that we aren’t good enough or we won’t succeed, then our behaviors will follow. The first step to defeating self-doubt is to recognize your inner critic and call it out. Your mind has been repeating lies over and over again that have turned into beliefs. The only way to combat that is to recognize the lies and tell yourself the opposite.
So why is it that we are so afraid of failure? It could be that it has nothing to do with fear and everything to do with ego. You are afraid of THEM watching you fail. We have this egocentric obsession about caring what other people think about us. But the truth is nobody who has ever achieved more than you have will judge you. Those that have achieved more will not judge you because they know how difficult it was to get where you are going. And those you “think” may be judging you are most likely too busy thinking about themselves, not you. The only people that will judge you are the ones who are not happy where they are at. Why would you care about the opinion of someone in an unhappy or unhealthy place? Someone else’s opinion only has weight if you give it weight. And you know what? Those other people won’t have to live with the regrets or “what if’s” of your life, you will.
You don’t have all the answers you’re not perfect. You will stumble and fall, but you will get back up! Failure is the only way. The only way forward is by trial and error. Embrace that you will fail. Fall in love with the process instead of the goal. The goal is someday, the process is your life! So please choose the latter, choose to fall in love with your life today!
Step 2: Challenge Your Self-Limiting Beliefs.
We all have limiting thoughts that make us feel defeated, like “I’m going to fail at ___” or “I will never be successful at ___!”Instead of judging your defeated attitude, start challenging it. Instead of thinking that you’re going to fail, ask “well, what if I don’t fail? What if I succeed instead?” The key to overcome self-doubt is to explore beyond your comfort zone and try new things often. Each time we achieve a minor victory, we gain confidence, thus weakening self-doubt. Yes, sometimes you will fail, but in the grand scheme of things does that really matter as long as you eventually reach the dream? One thing I know for sure is that if you don’t try, you definitely will fail, so you might as well make an attempt.
Say you have a history of failure. The only reason you should be afraid of failing at something again is if you don’t learn from what you did last time. Self-awareness of what is really going on. Personally, I struggled with the “I am just not motivate” belief. That is not why I failed, I failed because I was not actively and obsessively figuring out the tricks and habits to keep myself in check and motivated each day. There is a BIG difference.
Step 3: Get Out of the Comparison Trap
Comparing yourself to others will only drive you mad and make you feel inadequate. It can be so easy to compare ourselves to others, especially with all of the picture-perfect Instagram models in the world or the self-made millionaires, but you must learn to love and accept yourself.
All you are really seeing is other peoples highlight reels and success. You are not seeing the whole picture. You only see the good so you trick yourself into thinking they did it perfect so your supposed to do it perfect as well. WRONG. Life is not perfect or looks a certain way all the time because that’s just not true. Be sure to ground yourself. Comparison is the death of all joy, and the only person you need to be better than is the one you were yesterday. Follow people on Instagram that inspire you, not cause you to feel inadequate or question your self-worth. Read books and educate yourself from knowledgeable and accredited sources. Learning about other peoples struggles and success can be highly motivating which leads me into my next step.
Step 4: Surround Yourself With Positivity
It’s easy to get sucked into a self-doubt, when running your own business, reaching a fitness goal, getting that promotion or whatever it may be because you feel afraid that you may never truly “make it.” That’s why I listen to podcasts and read self-help books that inspire me daily.
It’s much easier to let go of self-doubt when you are learning from people who have been where you are, who knows what it’s like, who have risen above the ashes and achieved success.
Every single day you are filling your mind with messages, whether you know it or not. I choose to fill mine with positivity so I can live a more fulfilled life. You are who you surround yourself with. If you are around negative, depressed, Debbie-downer type of people, then your subconscious mind will match their personality. You need people in your life who are encouraging, up-lifting and supportive – people who make you feel good about yourself.
Step 5: Ditch the Victim Mentality
We are all victims of something, but you can’t let your circumstances weigh you down. I know how hard it can be, but you can’t let yourself get into the victim mentality that robs you of your own inner strength.
You need to fight that part of you that makes you feel defeated and limited. Think of yourself as a warrior that can conquer anything in life with fearlessness and strength. There is a short time that you get to be upset, but then you need to move on. Don’t let one thing ruin your happiness, because life is too precious and too short.
Step 6: Forgive Yourself
Messing up is a part of being human, but don’t let it stop you from enjoying life. When you do fail, just know that it’s okay and it happens to everybody. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Don’t let it fester for too long. Be kind to yourself because there isn’t anything else you can do other than accept it and move on.
My final thoughts would be to not waste your God given potential drowning in what other people think of you. You will never become who you were meant to be by siting there worrying about what someone else thinks about you stepping into your own power.