I am at a point in my life where I am slowly learning that some people are not good for me, no matter how much I love them. This is the part of my life where I silently remove myself from anyone who hurts me more than they love me, drains me more than they replenish me or bring me more stress than they do peace. There comes a point where you have done enough talking and trying to make things work with certain people before you are emotionally and physically spent.
As I have grown older – and wiser – I have begun to realize that I am not the same person I used to be. The things I used to tolerate have become intolerable. Where I once remained quiet, I am now speaking my own truth. When I once would have argued, I have not chosen to remain silent. I am beginning to understand the value of my own voice and there are some situations that no longer deserve my time, energy and focus.
I have learned the hard way that the more chances you give someone to hurt you, the less respect they’ll start to have for you. They will take advantage of your forgiveness. They won’t be afraid to lose you because they think you will never walk away. Never and I repeat NEVER let a person get comfortable with disrespecting you. Walking way has nothing to do with weakness, but rather everything to do with strength. We walk away not because we want others to realize our worth and value but because we have finally realized our own.
However, not all toxic people are uncaring, some of them love us dearly. Many of them have good intentions. Most are toxic however because their needs and way of existing force us to compromise ourselves and our happiness. They are not inherently bad people, but they aren’t the right people for us. As hard as it is, we must let them go. Life is hard enough without being around people who bring you down, and as much as you care, you can’t destroy yourself or the sake of someone else. Make your well being a priority. Whether that means breaking up with someone you care about, loving a family member from a distance, letting go of a friend, or removing yourself from a situation that feels painful.
Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you unhappy. Because at the end of the day, if someone does not meet you where you are, you cannot keep asking them to do so. If someone cannot reciprocate your love, if someone cannot give you what you truly deserve, you must understand that aching for them to do so before they are ready is a form of self-destruction. Your heart is a precious thing, you cannot keep trying to form it into what someone else needs. You cannot keep pouring your love into a soul that is not opening their eyes to all that they are receiving. You cannot keep pouring your love into a heart that is closed off to it. It will only leave you empty. You have to walk way. You must let this person grow on their own terms, because you can’t love someone into their potential. You can’t love someone into being ready, they must do that on their own.